Locked out, Wandering temporarily homeless, aaaand Ash returns soon

Had nearly forgotten the return of Ash, what with all the commotion about Uncle & Aunty S's door & fridge, and the stench... oh, the horrid stench.

Crikey!! Had awful, awful, AWFUL Saturday... and Friday too, I guess. Allow me to start from the beginning...

Friday: Uncle & Aunty S's kindly neighbour calls... gives the terrible news that Cops have smashed through their door, and says someone needs to check what's happening. Dad rushes over, checks out extent of damages... and doesn't return home. So, left with no other choice, and armed with cans of airfreshener, Nemo & I walk ourselves to their place. Oh, the entrance... the memorable entrance... suffice to say: "AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!! KILL ME NOW!!" Me nose felt distincly flakey... I could have sworn parts of it were disintegrating into non-existence. Oh, the stench... the putresence. **shudders** I think we used 3 cans of air freshener & 1 or 2 plug-ins.

And that was our Friday.

Saturday: Door fixed. Great- we think- but not so great, as it turned out. made our way back to Uncle & Aunty S's (Dad was busy, left home after Fajr & not back 'til 11PM). More air freshener... Also needed some major grocey shopping done (I mean, we didn't even have cheese at home!!) + junk supplies were pathetically low. So, went emergency shopping. Was almost at the check-out conter... opened my bag to reach for wallet... found NOTHING!!
Bugger me, I nearly had a heart attack right there... I, being the imbicilic lost-case that i am, had forgotten my wallet... on my coffee table AAARRRGGGHHH!! Blast! Anyway, so no shopping for me... but worse was yet to come. Guess what my wallet has attached to it??

My keys... as in the keys that allow me access to my own home... as in we were locked out!!
My stupidity knows no bounds... *sigh*. 'twas the worst day in such a long time.

Moving on... matters took a turn for the worst yet again. You see, I had Uncle & Aunty S's keys in my stupid little bag, so we (that is, Nemo & I) made our way over to that house...again... thought we'd at least have refuge there. (Did I mention that by this time, it was Maghrib?? And we'd been walking around the whole day...)
Anyway, we got there, I took out the keys... everything was fine, until we got to the newly installed door... none of the keys we had would open a lock on that blasted door!!
And so, we wandered around in the almost-dark, in a neighbourhood that is errrmmm... unsavoury (for want of a better word). Not to mention that both our legs were about to buckle & cave in. On top of it all... we had yet to call our Dad. Oh boy- the call didn't go well. Was dubbed "pagol", "trouble-maker" & everything in between :(

Finally, was instructed by Dad to seek refuge at a friends place... and had to intrude until 11PM, when Dad finally came home... so he could yell at me some more.
**sigh**...*huuuuge sigh* ...

I NEVER want to go out of my house again... home, sweet, beautiful home... except maybe to get Ash from the airpot.
:D

Hmm... Anyone have any suggestions for how to attach a wallet to myself?? Y'know so I don't ever leave home without it?? Superglue doesn't seem like the best option...